I cannot believe it's already 2012. I can't believe I'm 20 years old. Woah. Talk about freaky...two decades. TWO. I don't have a problem with it but it sure is a huge reality check when I'm thinking about all of the things I still have to do to get through school and survive in the real world. Not being a teenager anymore is taking that whole "I'm a big kid now" slogan and throwing it out the window. Now it's actual adult stage. After I turned 18 I didn't feel any different...kinda like the movie Sixteen Candles when Molly Ringwald is searching for something, anything, to make her thing she was actually a year older. That same thing has been done since the age of 16. Even though I turned 18 I didn't feel like an "adult", I just felt like an older teenager who could buy lottery tickets and get into night clubs. I don't believe that 18 should be considered an adult, I mean sure you have more opportunities to experience new things and all, but I really don't believe you are in any sort of state to take on ACTUAL adult responsibilities...at least I wasn't. Much of that didn't change when I turned 19.
19 was, possibly, the stupidest age/year I've experienced. Sure, it was incredibly fun and I met some great people, but it was definitely a year of learning. When I say learning, I mean the complete opposite from scholastic...sadly. For the past year I feel like I was on a mission to find myself, unknowingly. At times it took me by surprise how much I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. Things that seemed so simple, from a highschool viewpoint, weren't so sweet by the time I actually reached them. Looking back on it now, I feel like I was in this weird daze where the motions just came to me without any questions even while knowing that I needed to stop and fix whatever mistake I was making at that moment but failed to do so. You could say that "Young, wild, and free" would definitely have to be the catch phrase for everything that was the age of 19 for me...
Now it's time for age 20..along with adult hood comes a new year and I've planned my resolutions accordingly. I've never been much of a goal oriented person, but whenever I want something I will do whatever it takes to get it. What do I want this year?
1)Success. It's that simple. Within the next 4-5 years I want to be finished with my first degree and working on, or be done, with my second. Starting from January 1, 2012 I'm going to do anything and everything to reach that goal.
2)I also want to set a good example for my little brother who is now 13 and growing up to be such a nice boy. I want him to be driven, ambitious, never doubtful about his family's support for his future.
3)More communication with my family. Coming back home for the Holidays made me realize that even after the horrid year, your family will stick by you always. I've never been much of a communicator with them just because I haven't taken the time to try, but hello resolution!
4)A lighter outlook on life. It may sound like I think 20 is the end of fun and all of those things, but really it's just a time to get serious not negative. My glass was always seen as being half full until two semesters ago, but now it's time to bring it back. It's time to be more empithetic and understanding about things and the people around me. Gossip, negativity thoughts, and all that nonsense needs to be squashed and shunned forever.
Last but certainly not least...
5)Be more confident in my faith. If you know me, you know that I'm not the most religious person in the world. I don't know all the testiments in the bible or go to church every Sunday, but I do believe and I do pray. I know that isn't enough, which is why this is on the list.
--My resolutions all have importance to them and are in no way ranked by the numbers listed. I think they are all a good mixture of a positive change for the year 2012 as well as the age of 20.
Woah..apologies for the insanely long post.
Always, Emily
No comments:
Post a Comment